unFILTERED LiFE..... Blessed life.........
There were so many years, let's face it, my whole life, where I was exhausted with filtering my life in all areas.
Whether it was compromising my standards or beliefs to fit in with friends, changing my appearance to stay with a social standard, or even simply manipulating my surroundings to control my anxiety.
That last one is the big one for me, the big change that I am working on daily.
How funny is it that I actually thought I could control anything? The amount of worry and energy I put into manipulating or keeping up some facade, took more energy than simply letting God do what He does.
I had a pastor who said something in a sermon once that always jumps back into my head when I struggle with this. He said "Sometimes you just have to get out of the way so God can have a shot at your life" Oh, how many times am I right there hogging the lane, getting in the way of what He wants to do in my life, and setting my self up for failure in the process? More often than I'd like to admit, but hey, it's a learning process.
There are always things to focus on and put energy into. For me, being a wife, mother, running my business, leading worship, choreographing, the list goes on. So why would I occupy all the remaining brain cells I have trying to control situations to manage my anxiety? The irony is, attempting to have control to help my anxiety ends up making it worse because my situation doesn't often end up the way I want it to, and if it does, I spent so much energy getting it that way that I'm too worn out to enjoy it.
How much energy do you spend controlling, manipulating, sacrificing your standards or morals, or trashing your self worth to fit in? Imagine if all of that energy was put into enjoying the moments that make up your life, or better yet was put into the things you CAN control? Man, what a blessed life that would be.
As I get to have some down time with my family this week, I am reminded that THIS is where I want my energy to go. Being thankful for the things I have been given and to stop being anxious over that things I haven't. You know that saying "Hind sight is always 20/20"
Imagine what life could be like if we were able to recognize what HE is doing in our lives AS it is happening instead of only being able to see it in hindsight? Woah right?!
As someone who struggles with co-dependancy and control THIS is my struggle, and my daily focus.
Whatever this holiday week, summer vacation, or day to day living may bring you, my prayer is that you are able to be mindful enough to recognize the blessing, even if its in the middle of a bunch of crap. Then most importantly not waste one single ounce of energy trying to be something you are not in order to please others.
Sending so much love to all of you today. Please comment below or email me with any prayer requests you may have. I would love to be able to pray for you.
Do not be anxious about anything, for in everything with prayer petition and thanksgiving, present your requests to God.