Let's be real guys
Updated: Jun 7, 2018
It's a great picture right? I think so. I mean April the photographer is amazing at what she does. She plays with lighting and exposures to create the perfect look for whoever she is photographing. Although this picture may be Unfiltered, theres is much more to it than what you see here.
So let's get real guys. Im not saying that we can't do things that make us feel or look good. Im not saying that we can't "enhance" ourselves for the sake of a little fun, or confidence. I mean thats what "dress up" or "pretend play" was all about when we were kids right? What I am saying is it gets dangerous when others think that this one picture right here is the reality of my life, and they compare theirs to mine. The danger is when we do things to enhance or make us feel and look better and then lead others to believe that this is just "who we are" naturally.
Today we are going to pick this apart and become truly #Unfiltered. It's transparency at it's finest guys. I hope you stay with me, and I hope you are empowered to continue to do the things that make you feel good, but that you just aren't shy about them.
One might think, wow! What a beautiful kitchen Ashley has..... Yeah, it's April's. She had better lighting, more attractive counter tops and sink, and a great island in the middle of her kitchen for staging, making the shots easier to get.
My kitchen has dishes all over the counter, magnets and "artwork" all over the fridge. The cabinets and counter tops are from the 70's and never quite look clean. It's teeny tiny and has terrible lighting for pictures. But, what it does have are, signs of life and years of love. Functionality and tons of storage. Not to mention an adorable 22 month old and her favorite "kitchen helper" stool to "help" me do the dishes and make meals. I love our kitchen, it's just not ideal for photos. With that being said you will be seeing more of this little kitchen, so get used to it :)
The blue in my hair? Extensions. My natural hair is so thin that I use #greyaway spray to cover my scalp so my hair looks thicker. The extensions add a lot of thickness to natural length I have so it doesnt look stringy. I pick blue because it's fun, represents me, and helps me to look the 25 that I feel instead of the 35 that I am. Speaking of grey, Im probably 50% grey and have to color my hair every 3 weeks so you don't see the white roots that grow through. I would post a picture of me without color and extensions, but one does not exist. LOL
My skin looks super good right?! I know! I love it right now. Well I use a botanically based Anti aging skin care regimen called YOUTH that I am totally obsessed with and psycho about being consistent with (it's comparable in price, but it's not cheap) I have a few units of botox in between my eyebrows because those frown lines make me feel angry, tired and about 100 years older than I am. (so many people do it, no one talks about it) I have this incredible translucent powder on my skin from Tarte cosmetics that is basically like airbrushing, AND I totally over lined my top lip because it's literally half the size of my bottom lip and my husband won't let me get fillers. HAHA! I mean we are being honest here right?
Lastly, I am totally sucking in my tummy here! I have about a 4 finger gap of Diastisis Recti that is super hard to keep together. (more on this later) Not sayin you shouldn't "suck it in" all the time simply for postures sake, but just trying to create some more transparency.
So why?! Why do I feel the need to do these "enhancements" Call it insecurity, call it loving what you see when you look in the mirror, call it a little boost of confidence after growing and feeding a human for almost 3 years, call it whatever you want! BUT my encouragement is not to lie about or hide the fact that we all do this. WHY? Because it creates completely unrealistic expectations for each other AND for our children who see us on social media. Im not perfect and I absolutely do not pretend to be. I want YOU to feel the best version of yourself. SO if that means a little lip stick, some extensions, some false lashes, a spray tan, you go and get it girl, but do it because it makes YOU feel good, not because you want others to see you differently than you are. You see the difference?
I'm not saying that I don't still battle with this regularly, but my overall mindset has changed significantly. My hope is for a new reality where the comparative mindset we all tend to carry, or the desire to impress others, no longer trumps the desire to fulfill our own needs for the purpose of our own self love and worth. The expectations for us in this world are so incredibly high already. The super mom who takes care of her kids 100% of the time, brings in income from her stay at home business, works out daily, makes all her own meals, is emotionally available for her husband or partner AND we're not supposed to have wrinkles, short nails, cellulite or thin hair either?! ummmmmm ok. Impossible standards right?
The goal! Let's all agree to make it just a little easier for all of us and be real about who we are and what we look like. I love a wrinkle less forehead as much as the next gal, but the expectation that a 35 year old shouldn't have a single wrinkle is the issue, not the wrinkle itself.
For those of you who are already out there slaying life and being open about the process, kudos to YOU! Let's all jump on board and help each other out.
Here's to a wonderful rest of the week! Thanks for joining me on this journey!
I would love to hear your take on this subject!
Join me in conversation in the comments below <3